Perfect Agony
by scarlet700
Summary: I was a bad person, I knew that, but his kisses and tears were all it took to wash away my sins. This was torture, this was wrong, but all above that… this was perfect agony.


**_Perfect Agony_**

I couldn't help it; I was completely and utterly addicted to the feeling. Why? I used to ask myself. Why was it I that always got the short end of the stick while my older brother was just so perfect. He could practically get away with murder and my parents would still be proud of him, but I couldn't make a mistake.

I strived so hard to be perfect and yet I always ended up as the waste of space, the child who couldn't do anything right to save his life. I was useless; they kept telling me so, a waste of money and time, a problem that needed to be taken care of.

The adrenaline was running through my veins, the fresh cuts pouring with thick crimson liquid, but I didn't care. They were added to the multiple scars that I had received from everyone around me. Nobody cared and why should they; I was such a difficult person to love, not even worth loving, but that was all my fault.

In the end it was my decision to push everyone away. I should have listened, I should have made a new life for myself and made new friends, but I hadn't. I had thought that I knew everything there was to know about life. Who were they to tell me that I was wrong or that I needed help?

I see it now though, I did need help, but it was too late. I had already decided that it was time for my life to come to an end, besides who would want to help a screw up like me. They had all made it very clear that they didn't want anything to do with me; I was a loser and always would be one.

I hadn't let anyone in and so many had tried, I finally see all my mistakes, but it's time to say goodbye, it's time to finally float up into the sky. And so with one last breath, I closed my eyes and jumped, letting go of all the wrongs in my life and letting go of all the hatred. I would watch over my friends from above and make sure that they were safe and loved.

It was then that I realized something was very wrong… I wasn't falling and the pain in my right wrist had increased tenfold. Looking up toward the sky, silently cursing fate for the intervention of my death, I gazed into the most beautiful sapphire eyes I had ever seen. It was the same eyes that made me feel like I was the most important person in the world and the same eyes that could make me do anything.

Looking away, I allowed my dobe to pull me back into my room, avoiding his gaze as he took a step back to look at me. I knew that he wouldn't say anything; he never did, but it was those beautiful eyes filled with tears that brought me to my knees. I didn't want to burden him any longer, but he would never let me go.

I wasn't going to say I'm sorry; he knew that I wasn't and there was no point in lying to the person that was my everything. Swallowing hard, I flung myself into his arms, allowing all the pent up emotion to manifest itself in tears as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He would understand my pain, he always did and I was glad to have him in my life. My heart swelled as he returned the embrace, pulling me closer as if to merge our bodies, but a horrible person like me could never become one with an angel; not that I would ever say that out loud, he would knock some 'sense' into me if I did.

My lip trembling as he kissed the crown of my head, I licked my lips and quietly whispered, "Please let me go."

I knew his reply, it was the same one that he always gave me. His hesitation was new though and I honestly thought that he was going to agree with me for the first time in years, but he quickly proved me wrong when he pulled away at arms' length and whispered, "Never."

Nodding silently, I allowed him to pulled me back and connect our lips in a sweet sensation that was often the only thing that kept me going. I was a bad person, I knew that, but his kisses and tears were all it took to wash away my sins. This was torture, this was wrong, but all above that… this was perfect agony and I wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto_**

**_Author's note: Yes, I am aware of the fact that this is very depressing, but not all my stories can be happy, so I encourage you to embrace the angst._**

**_Comments, thoughts, and reviews are very welcomed and much appreciated. _**


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